Overview
- Germans often invite friends or good known colleagues to their home.
- Being invited home does not mean you are very close – it is part of normal social life.
- Bringing a small gift when you are invited is polite and expected.
- Gifts are usually simple and practical – not expensive or formal.
- Germans usually say directly whether they can accept an invitation or not.
1. Being Invited to Someone’s Home
In Germany, it is quite common to invite friends, neighbors, or even good colleagues to your home – for coffee, dinner, or a casual gathering. You can even do a small Party if your neighborhood is okay with it. This might feel unusual if you come from a culture, where private homes are mostly reserved for family or very close friends.
In Germany:
- A home invitation is a sign of friendliness, not necessarily of deep personal closeness. But maybe a sign that someone wants to know you better.
- It is normal to have a coffee or dinner at someone’s house, even if you are not best friends.
- Inviting someone home does not carry strong emotional meaning – it is simply part of everyday hospitality.
2. Accepting or Declining an Invitation
If you receive an invitation but cannot go:
- It is perfectly fine to accept or decline honestly – Germans will not be offended.
- You do not need a long excuse if you cannot come. A short sentence is enough. „Vielen Dank, aber ich kann leider nicht.“ („Thank you, but I’m not able to come.„)
If you accept and want to go:
- Be on time, or let the person know if you are a few minutes late.
- It’s polite to ask: „Kann ich etwas mitbringen?“ („Can I bring something?“). Sometimes you’re ask to bring something to drink or a dish, something that is needed for the event. But it can also be, that the inviting person doesn’t want you to bring something. “Hauptsache du kommst.” – (“The main thing is that you can come.”)
3. What to Bring as a Guest when he or she is not asking for something
Bringing a small gift when visiting someone’s home is polite even though it wasn’t ask for.
Common gift ideas include:
- A bottle of wine or good juice
- A small bouquet of flowers
- Chocolates or cookies
- Something from your home country (if it’s personal and simple)
Price range approximatels: 5-15€. You usually hand the gift over when you arrive, and say: „Das ist für Sie.“ (“This is for you.”)
Important:
- The gift should be modest, not expensive or formal.
- Do not give money unless it’s a special occasion (like a wedding).
- Avoid red roses (romantic) or chrysanthemums (used for funerals).
If the person is declining to bring anything before, you can decide by your own if you want to bring a gift listed above. It’s more of a gesture of thanking for the invitation than a specific need.
4. How Germans Host Guests
If you are invited to someone’s home:
- The host will usually prepare food or drinks.
- You will be offered something – but you are not expected to eat or drink everything. If you don’t like something, don’t hesitate to say “Nein, danke.” (“No. Thanks.”)
- Compliments like: „Das schmeckt sehr gut!“ (This tastes very good!) are appreciated, but not required..
Germans do not expect guests to stay very long unless clearly invited for a long evening. After 2–3 hours, it is normal to say thank you and leave politely.
5. Special Occasions: Birthdays, Holidays, Celebrations
If you are invited to a birthday party or holidays Celebration:
- A gift is still expected, usually small and thoughtful.
- For holidays Celebration you can bring something that suits the holiday. (Example: Lebkuchen, Easterchocolate, sparkling wine for new years eve)
- Germans do not celebrate birthdays in advance – it is seen as bad luck.
➤ Only say „Happy Birthday“ on the actual day or later, never before. - At celebrations, you are not expected to bring large gifts.
Example gifts for birthdays:
- Book, voucher, favourite sweets
- homemade things like marmelade, cake or something that suits to your hobby.
- Something that is connected to the interests of the person
Price range approximately: 10–25 €. You usually handed the gift later after the meal.
Example Phrases
Invited to coffee at someone’s home:
Bring flowers, chocolates, or juice. Say: „Danke für die Einladung!“ (“Thank you for the invitation!”)
Can’t come to an event: „Danke, aber ich kann leider nicht.“ (“Thanks, but I can’t make it.”)
At the door: „Hallo, schön dich zu sehen! Das ist für dich.“ (“Hi, nice to see you! This is for you.”)
** Weddings are treated differently, so please don’t us this article for preparing for a wedding invitation.
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Summary
Understanding German politeness in social behavior means understanding four important aspects:
By learning these basics, you will feel much more comfortable in everyday life in Germany. Politeness in Germany may feel different at first, but it is built on honesty, respect, and clarity. – Your efforts to understand and adapt will always be appreciated!
Don’t be afraid to be yourself – politeness in Germany is not about being perfect, but about showing respect and honesty in your own way.
First Steps in Germany 